i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
