Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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