It's like God shit irony all over that family
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
