I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize