Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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