Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
i need some magic done to my vagina
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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