So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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