I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
