in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
