this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
i think my cat just said my name.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
