Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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