OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
