please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
