Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
