I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
