My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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