My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize