can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
