I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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