Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
