just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
