What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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