She said her name was "party"
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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