I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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