I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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