Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
