I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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