Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
