I want to stick my p in your. b.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
