After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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