u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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