you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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