i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
