i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
