I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Porn is love you can see.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
