I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
