Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
We smell like vodka and hangover
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