is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
