She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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