If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
