all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
