Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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