I feel great
I just peed on a car
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
