Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
