dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
