I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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