How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm like, not good at living.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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