Her vagina should come with caution tape.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize