South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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