just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at templeÂ
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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