If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
