Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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